set fire to the r a i n [leon]

[Lorina]

All she wanted was out.

Out from everything and everyone at the moment. The first chance she had noticed for escape had been taken while Zenethil was still tending to Nairore. Lorina felt an irrational anger toward the both of them in addition to her worry and concern. Anger at her father for driving her too hard, her sister for manipulating her into an act she was confused over, and now at the damnable situation they were now all in. She wanted blood and everything to burn, and she did not know where to turn. Her moods had become so much volatile as of late, and she had no outlet. Personally, Lorina would love to dig her claws into the damnable King of the Gerudo for stabbing her sister through the stomach. Oh, she could understand his reaction to being betrayed and attacked, but to kill his own children. He was vile, cruel, and spiteful. There was a special place in hell for his kind, but she would have to satisfy herself with her fantasies for the moment.

She had taken shelter beneath a tree, which had various gouge marks running through the weathered bark. Her fingers were red and scratched up, and most of her sharpened nails were chipped and cracked from the rough treatment. Lorina wondered if she looked as mad as everyone knew her to be. So much for her father's attempt at 'healing' her. At least before she had been calm, but now anything could set her off. Perhaps she had a good excuse this time? Everything had turned upside down in the span of a few days, and Lorina had no idea how to handle herself. She had always retreated into her mind when she was faced with something she did not like, and now she no longer had the luxury. She drew her knees to her chest, huddling in on herself as she tried to take in a few calming breaths. It was not working all that well. So much for meditation like her father suggested.

'I set fire to the rain, and I threw us into the flames," she attempted to sing. It was a little liberating, and it helped to lessen the tightness that had formed within her heart. "Where I felt something die, 'cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time," she trailed off darkly. All she wanted to do was watch everything be devoured by flame, and that scared her more than anything. She had never been violent before, and all she wanted to do was lash out. The tree behind her was a testament to that fact, but it had not soothed her for very long.

[Leon Swyft]

He was worried.

In the mass of confusion that followed his and Lorina's reunion with Nairore, he was either too wasted or too absorbed in his own self-pity to really be thinking about anyone but himself or Nai. It was a lot to happen over the span of a few days; Nai came back, got stabbed in the stomach by the man who got her pregnant (which Leon was still seething over. Really, what kind of man slaughtered his own children?), Leon got utterly drunk for the first time, got laid for the first time, and proceeded to angst over it for quite some time afterwards. In fact, if it hadn't occurred to him that he hadn't seen Lorina for a while, he would still be angsting over it. And the only reason Lorina had even crossed his mind was because he had seen her slipping out of the Castle and into town, with an expression than he had never seen on her face before.

Rage.

So concern trumped his self-pity, and he followed the girl out, keeping a good distance behind her. He lost her a few times, but he soon found her again; her pink hair was more than just gorgeous, then. So helpful.

Leon watched as she left town and ventured into Hyrule Field; giving her a bit more space, he milled about by the gate for some time before following once more. One hand was shoved in his pocket, the other running through his hair; even stressed out and despairing, he made sure the spikes were perfect. His sword hung from his hips, as usual, and his expression was one of complete innocence, because no, he hadn't just stalked Lorina all the way from the castle to here.

It was kind of funny, in a way. These were lengths he usually only went to for Nairore. Kind of funny, kind of weird, kind of sad.

She was singing, he realized, a bit surprised. He had never heard her sing before. She had a nice voice; more than nice, really. Beautiful.

Was there anything about her that wasn't beautiful?

He knew that she had been a little bit crazy, of course. He didn't really care. Batshit insane or not, she was still a sweet girl, kind; even after Zenethil had 'cured' her, and she changed, he knew that kindness was still in her. Things like that didn't just disappear, and even if she had a bit more variety in the negative end of emotions, that didn't make up all of who she was.

Confusing, yeah. But it made sense in Leon's mind. Lori was Lori, and nothing would change that.

Impulse took over as he leaned against the tree she had gouged. "Sometimes I wake up by the door, the heart you caught must be waiting for you," he sang, the attempt effortless. When he wasn't talking, he was humming, and when he wasn't humming, he was singing. Leon was used to it.

He sat next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Even now, when we're already over, I can't help myself from looking for you."

He looked from her hair to her hands, her scratched-up, bloody fingers. From her hands to the tree, and back again.

"Darling, what in the world did you do to your nails."

[Lorina]

Lorina nearly started at the sudden voice added after her trailing lyrics. Blue eyes widened, and she looked up with a startled expression. What she had not expected was to see Leon leaning against the tree, and something within her twisted painfully at the sight of him. She was hopelessly in love with him, and he was hopelessly in love with her sister, who she had recently slept with. Her face visibly blanched at the thought, and all she wanted was for the memories of that night to disappear from her mind. It had been a mistake to do, and she could not understand why she had done so. Sisters did not do things like that, and Lorina must have been in a state of mind too far gone for herself to figure out. All of her firsts had been taken by Nairore, and she had wanted that to be with Leon. Lorina had not wanted to think of feel anything that night, but now all of the negative emotions were piling up on her. Anger, guilt, regret. She was drowning, and all she wanted to do was burn.

She stared at him blankly, trying push back all of her negative emotions. Leon deserved none of them, and he had been so sweet and kind to her these past months. A wonderful friend, and so funny to tease and talk with. The lyrics he had chosen rang a little too true for comfort, because he had her heart, and he had no idea at all. Lorina had the urge to scream loudly at the moment, but stopped herself from doing so. She had done enough damage for one day, right? At least she had not set fire to the tree, because no doubt that would have drawn unwanted attention. "Oh, let it burn," she sang quietly. Angry tears pricked at her eyes, and Lorina blinked at the sudden reaction. Oh, Goddesses, was she actually crying? Weak, stupid, angry her! She hated crying in her anger.

She nearly flinched at his hand upon her shoulder, craving and wanting to run from the innocent touch. Her eyes moved away from him, resting resolutely upon her bloodied fingers. She could heal them in an instant, but she relished the pain somewhat. Lorina had never liked pain, or to see others in pain, but she was self destructive at the moment. Why not revel in the damage she had caused to something? Leon's words merely had her laughing in a hollow manner. She lifted her hands, inspecting the bruised appendages idly. "I carved up the tree for amusement. Felt nice, but I can't scratch deep enough, so I gave up," she admitted with a shrug. She flexed her fingers out idly, and the pain of it had her wondering if one of her fingers was broken or fractured. Oh, well, she would just have to try harder next time.

[Leon Swyft]

She was angry, he could tell that much. He didn't know why, and while he wanted to find out, he wouldn't pry too much if she didn't want to tell him. There were certain things you couldn't tell anyone, even if you wanted to.

She was crying. Probably because she was angry. He could deal with anger, he could deal with tears; quite honestly, though, he had no idea how to deal with angry tears. He didn't know how to comfort or cure her, didn't know how to make her see that brutally damaging her hands was not a good way to deal with things.

She was laughing. It was hollow, insincere. Frightening. What had happened that made her so self-destructive, so... he couldn't even describe it. It scared him; something was definitely off. Something had happened that the general public didn't know about. Something important.

He wouldn't push her. How could he? If she wanted to tell him, she would. They were close enough for that, Leon though. Maybe he could just keep her mind off of things, take care of her for a while. Clean up her hands, get the blood off her fingers. One of them didn't bend right, like the bone had broken.

Leon moved so that he was sitting in front of her, and he took one of her hands in his own. He fished a bit of cloth from his pocket, and, as he had no water on him, dabbed it on his tongue to wet it slightly. Gently, he wiped the excess blood from her fingers on one hand, then moved to the next.

"There are less destructive ways of getting rid of anger, you know," he said lightly as he worked, keeping his gaze fixed on her hands. "Still, if you really wanna hurt something, you might as well do it so that you don't hurt yourself in the process."

He let the cloth lie in his lap when he finished, still holding her hands. What did he say? What can he say, really. There was only so much he could do.

"... You're really mad, huh." Leon looked up, matched her gaze with his own, running his thumbs along the backs of her slender hands. "You wanna talk about it?"

[Lorina]

Lorina knew she was unnerving Leon with how she was acting. He had seen her upset before, but never like this. She did not go around purposely hurting herself to feel better, but everything was changing so much now. What was she supposed to do? Lines had blurred so much, and she had no idea how to act with Nairore or her father anymore. She should be making sure her sister was fine, but she could not bring herself to see her. Anger was so much easier to cling to than her guilt and confusion. Especially where it concerned the male beside her. He was eccentric, naive, too happy, but he was so sweet and kind as well. Lorina had never pictured herself falling in love with a Knight, but there was something about Leon that suited her tastes perfectly. He was different like she was, and he was someone that did not care about her broken mind and past. Why could he have no fallen for her instead of Nairore? Everything would have been so much easier, but life had never been fair. Was it so wrong of her to want some happiness for herself? A small sigh escaped her lips, and she continued to stare at her fingers. Part of her wished to leave them unhealed, but she knew that it would raise questions when she went home. Or did she have to go home at all? A part of her wished to leave everything behind and just start anew, but she was just being stupid at this point.

Leon was suddenly sitting before her, and she watched as he began to dab a spare piece of cloth against his mouth to moisten the fabric. The sight had her heart beating quickly, and she watched as he reached for her hands so gently. She did not resist against the gesture, and her heart broke as he cared for her bruised and battered hands. The anger drained from her, and the tears began to flow freely down her cheeks. Leon was so good to her, and it pained her that his own love was not reciprocated. Sure, he could be a little airy, but his sweetness more than made up for that. "I don't want to feel anything else," she whispered brokenly. Lorina watched as he moved to wipe the blood away from her other hand, gentle with the raw skin and open scrapes. Her heart was seizing within her chest, and her throat felt constricted and tight. Why was he so oblivious to her feelings?

Even when he finished, Leon still held her hands within his. His touch was so gentle that she did not feel the pain at all. Blue eyes stared at him full of tears, registering his words dimly. There was so much she wanted to say, but where did she begin? She slept with her sister? She was mad at the entire world? She was so ridden with guilt, regret, and shame? Lorina exhaled deeply, and decided to go with the most simple of her problems at the moment. He had asked, and she was so very tired of holding it in. "I'm in love with you," she admitted in a whisper. Lorina lowered her gaze to stare at anything but him, wondering why she had done that at all. She was so, so stupid.

[Leon Swyft]

It hurt him, seeing how... no, not broken. He couldn't say that Lorina was broken, that was going too far. She was a little scratched up, that was all. Whatever she was feeling, it was nothing that couldn't be fixed. It was nothing that he couldn't fix. He would help her get past it.

What else were friends for, right?

It hurt him, seeing her cry. He hated seeing people in general cry, but with Lorina, it was like someone had shoved a white-hot knife into his heart, then poured salt into the wound. There was just this aching, burning feeling, and a driving desire to end the tears, cheer her up, make her happy. But he didn't know how to do that--

-- and then he did.

Her whispered confession didn't register at first. He was about to smile and respond with an easy 'I love you, too', but then he realized that there was that one extra word, that one word that changed the whole meaning of the sentence.

In. Lorina was in love with him. She didn't just love him as a friend; she was in love with him, and that changed everything.

Lorina was in love with Leon. Leon was in love with Nairore. Nairore... well, she had gotten pregnant and then almost killed by the Gerudo King, so he very sincerely doubted that she was going to be involved in anything even remotely romantic for a while. And Leon... he always said he'd love Nairore forever.

But she didn't want him, that much had been made clear. Looking back, he realized that her overly-violent reaction towards him was probably a result of pregnancy hormones, but those did nothing but amplify emotions that were already there. She wanted to beat him to a pulp, and she did. She tried, anyway. And metaphorically, she succeeded.

Leon lifted a hand to wipe away her tears, suddenly aware that he had been silent for a while. Vocally, he picked up where his thoughts had left off.

"Nairore won't ever want me, will she," he said softly, as more of a statement than a question, like he was finally confronting himself with the truth. Then he shook his head abruptly, panicking slightly as he realized how that must have sounded, especially considering what Lorina had just told him.

"I, uh, sorry," he began, cheeks flushing, stammering slightly -- a novelty in itself, really. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to compare you two or anything. See, after Nai went batshit crazy and attacked me the other day, I got really upset. And I ran, like you told me to, except I ended up running to the festival and I got so completely drunk that it wasn't even funny and then I met this really nice lady, Titania, and I kindasorta slept with he-- oh goddesses, you don't want to hear that I'msosorry. But she told me something that I've been thinking over for a while now, and I know that's kind of weird, thinking about me actually thinking something for once in my life, but anyway."

He stopped to take a breath, not quite realizing that his hand was still cupping Lorina's cheek. "She told that I need someone who can make me happy, which I think means that she told me 'dude, she doesn't want you so move on already.'"

And Leon felt bad about it, really. When he said he loved Nairore, he meant it. But she didn't want him, and even though he always said he would win her over, maybe he already knew that it wouldn't happen. It was stupid, making himself suffer like this. And it was equally stupid to make Lori suffer because he was too focused on Nai to realize that there were other women in the world, other women who maybe cared about him as much as he cared about Nai.

More than anything, right then, he wanted Lorina to be happy. And if he made Lorina happy, then she could have him.

"I let it fall, my heart, and as it fell, you rose to claim it," he sang softly, more to himself than to Lorina. He blinked, and moved his hand -- the one that he had wiped her tears with -- to his own eyes, surprised to find his own tears gathering there.

"So basically, I'm saying that maybe I should move o-- oh crap. Waitaminute. You told me-- and I asked-- so..." He blinked rather rapidly, his heart tightening as a bunch of dots connected in his mind. "Does that mean that this--" he glanced at her battered hands, the scratches and scrapes she had inflicted on herself. "-- this is my fault? Goddesses, Lori, I'm so sorry. I had no idea, honest. If I did, I would've... I dunno, I would've done something. Maybe not made such a giant ass of myself. I..."

He sighed, ran a hand through his hair. "If there's anything else weighing you down, tell me. I want you to be happy, Lori. You deserve it."

[Lorina]

Lorina regretted saying those words the instant they left her lips. Leon had not said anything at all, and the urge to run was humming through her veins. She had been wanting to escape from everything for so very long, but her mind was now closed to her. All she had was reality, and that was hardly preferable at all. She considered the idea of disappearing into Snowpeak. No one would ever think of looking for her there, right? She hated cold weather, so it would be perfect! Zenethil would give up quickly enough, and then Lorina could live out the rest of her life as a snowman. There was a near hysterical note in her line of thinking, and she really should calm herself before she bolted. Deep breathing? Oh, that would only have her start hyperventilating, and that would certainly make things worse. Why had she said anything at all? Lorina almost wished she could take back those words now, and she could have made something up. That way she would not have to worry about his silence as rejection.

His hand against her cheek nearly made her jump, and Lorina glanced up at Leon with wide, blue eyes. His statement about Nairore had her hopeful for a moment, because at least he was realizing that her sister would not return his feelings. Lorina did not expect Leon to confess his love to her after that realization, but it meant there could be hope, right? That maybe in time he could come to think of her as more than a friend, and she could be content with that. She listened as Leon began to stammer into a sudden explanation, and she found his blundering rather adorable to watch. Well, until he went admitted that he had gotten drunk and slept with the Queen of the Fairies. That hurt to hear, but how could she be angry? They were not together, and Lorina had slept with her own sister. Oh, Goddesses, she wished the ground would open up wide and swallow her whole. This whole situation was so screwed up, and all she wanted to do was laugh at it. Oh, wonderful, was she going to cry hysterical tears now?

"Well, at least Titania has some words of wisdom to share," she murmured. Perhaps if she ever saw the Queen, then she would at least thank her for that. Certainly not for sleeping with Leon, but she knew of Titania's penchant for enjoying pleasure, so she was not angry about that. Looking back at him, she really wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but that would be too sudden. So sweet and clueless, but she loved him for all of his quirks and good traits. He would not be Leon without them. His hand was warm against her cheek, and her head tilted as she listened to him sing those lyrics to himself. Lorina wanted nothing more than to have Leon's heart for herself, but she was patient enough to wait for it. Things of worth in life were never that easy to obtain, right? She was a little bewildered to see that tears had begun to form within his eyes, and she watched as he moved his hand to his own face. The urge to wipe his tears away occurred to her, but one glance at her battered hands was enough to stop her.

At his sudden accusation toward himself at being the cause of her act of self inflicted pain, she vehemently shook her head. "No! Leon, no, you did not cause this. There are other things, and you've never done anything but be so wonderful to me, so don't think this is your fault, please," she begged. The thought of him being the one to cause this was ludicrous, because it was simply impossible. Lorina had accepted the fact that she believed her love for him would remain one sided, and she did not want him blaming himself. His last inquiry left her silent and hesitant, and she had no idea if she wanted to tell him that. Leon deserved the entire truth, right? He would not be angry with her for doing that, right? Shame colored her cheeks, and once more she took the chance to look at anything but him.

"I slept with Nairore. I-I don't know why I did. Sister don't do that sort of thing, but I did. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she admitted in a rush, upset tears deciding to make themselves known this time. The whole situation was confusing. Lorina was ashamed because she had enjoyed it, but now she would do anything to take it back, because so many lines were blurred now. All she wanted to do was run away and not look back.

[Leon Swyft]

Wonderful, huh. The thought made his lips curve into a wry half-smile, shaking his head ever so slightly. Wonderful people didn't stay oblivious to their best friend's feelings for however long. All the times he said how much he loved her -- as a friend -- all the times he went on and on about Nairore around her... goddesses, he couldn't even imagine how much that must have hurt her.

But then, suddenly, he could.

Even though Leon and Nai had never really spent a whole lot of time together, he had loved her. He had loved her, and she had punched him, and he had still loved her. Even though she had ignored and insulted and beaten the crap out of him; even though she had chosen the man her father hated most, he loved her. Unconditionally. Even though her repeated rejections hurt more than he could ever care to admit.

And now a condition had reared its head, and Leon didn't know what to think.

He was willing to give up his advances on Nai to make Lori happy, because she deserved it. And he figured, hey. Nai wouldn't mind because Lori's her sister, and sisters like that wanted each other to be happy, right? Right.

But now Nairore had done this to Lorina -- and he knew it was Nai's idea, because even after she changed, Lori wouldn't think that way about her sister unless it was introduced. And somehow, Leon wouldn't put it past Nai to bring it up. And yeah, Lori had went with it, but she was the little sister. Nai was supposed to take care of her, not make her worry for months, then finally come home to sleep with her.

Leon sighed and wrapped his arms around Lori, pulling her into his chest and pressing his lips against her head. "There's nothing to be sorry for," he said quietly, stroking her hair as he had done so many times before. "It's over with now. There's nothing anyone can do to change it, so..."

He trailed off, took a deep breath.

Breathe in, breathe out. This isn't about you, rocks-for-brains. It wasn't ever about you.

"Just remember that I'm here for you, okay? You don't have to do this alone."

[Lorina]

Everything felt like it was falling apart, and Lorina had no idea on how to deal with it. She was cast out into the middle of the ocean to swim to nowhere and drown. Everything was bubbling up within her chest, her heart squeezing in the most painful way that made her breathing so shaky and labored. Her crying had yet to stem, and it appeared to be getting worse as she barely held herself back from sobbing. Lorina hated being such an emotional mess, because she had always been great at hiding this from everyone. She had been able to divide her various emotions into the characters that filled her Wonderland, but now they were all part of her again. It was all too much for her to deal with at once, and the seal in her sanity had not gone as well as her father would like to believe.

She felt so guilty for laying this all upon Leon as she was, because it was not fair to him at all. How could he react with her news that his best friend had slept with the woman he was in love with? She would not blame him if he hated her for being so foolish, and she would almost welcome it. Anger would be better than this guilt and shame that now plagued her. Lorina curled her battered fingers toward her palm, relishing the burning pain at the motion. It was a distraction she could focus on, and it was so much better than thinking about her own emotional turmoil. She would have to heal her hands eventually, or her father would question her. Would he be disappointed in her for treating herself in such a way? Bitterness colored her eyes, and Lorina wanted to throw so many things in his face. She wanted to show him that she was mad, make him sorry for having her change when she had been happy the way she was.

Lorina was shaken from her thoughts as Leon suddenly pulled her against him. Her slim frame tensed against his, wondering why he was doing this. He should hate her and be angry--not comforting her! She did not deserve it, but the press of his lips against her forehead was too much. Her heart began to beat more quickly, and she was choking on her sudden, desperate need for him. So much that it was crushing, and she clung to him. Everything escaped her, and she was suddenly sobbing against his chest. All of her anger, confusion, and sadness released from her weak cries and insistent tears. Mumbled apologies continued to escape her lips, and Lorina just wanted Leon to stay. Was that too selfish?

"Don't leave me..."